Let's talk...the disaster also known as the VMA's

The VMA's are known to be a little "out there." Maybe Kayne didn't interrupt anyone (but Katy Perry sure put him in his place), but the 2011 Video Music Awards were, um, trippy and just plain bad.

Seriously, was there anyone there who wasn't on drugs? The special effects experienced an acid trip. What did Kevin Hart say in the opening? Lady GaGa was a dude, people voted for Britney Spears over Adele, the same people voted for the Foo Fighters over Foster the People, The Black Keys and Mumford & Sons. GaGa gave Britney a special award and said SHE looked up to HER. Nicki Minaj tried so hard (and failed) to be GaGa (who was MIA 'cause she was a dude) and Justin Bieber thought he looked good in those glasses.

And Katy Perry wore a cheddar cheese cube on her head...because, well, we all have that moment in life where we wear are favorite cheese flavors on our head.

Hey Katy, Wisconsin called. They want their cheese back.

Award That Resembled the Whole Esperanza Spalding Grammy Incident

Best New Artist:
Wiz Khalifa
Foster the People
Some dude with Chris Brown
Random Crazy Chick
And some creator

The winner is...Wiz Khalifa. Foster the People. The creator dude...oh, TYLER, the Creator. Ok, who the hell are you? What have you sung? And why are you wearing a tie-dye T-shirt with a cat on it?

Best Performance

Adele.

Why? Simple. You could understand what she was saying. When Kayne and Jay-Z came out, I think they needed to invest in some closed captions because everything they were rapping sounded like a mumbled mess. Chris Brown didn't even sing, as usual, and Jessie J was confined to the chair the whole night.

Adele has a voice of an angel. Compare it to Kayne's performance, then Adele, Kayne. Adele. You'll hear the difference.

Best Example of Why Choice Awards Are Not Always Pleasurable to Watch

Britney Spears beat out Adele and Bruno Mars.

How many times do we have to say that Britney Spears has absolutely no talent? She doesn't write her songs, she doesn't sing, she doesn't play any instruments, and I'm almost positive she doesn't even know what a treble clef is. We are giving awards to a woman who lip syncs, uses auto-tune, has the voice of a chipmunk, who attempts to dance (and fails like Nicki Minaj in her...whatever she was wearing). It's like awarding bad behavior. Would a mother give her kid a cookie after they finger painted the walls? No? Ok, stop giving her Moonmen.


Best "I Secretly Hate You But the Cameras Are On Me So I Have To Pretend Like I Don't" Moment


Katy Perry and Kayne accepting Best Collaboration.

Let's take a trip down memory lane.

It's September 2009, and Kayne West just interrupted Taylor Swift's speech. "Yo, Taylor..." (with that creepy, awkward hairdo that screams douche bag (hence, toast to the douche bags song))...and the rest is history.

Katy Perry (along with the rest of America) takes to her Twitter account (because that's the modern way of showing how much you hate someone (like this blog)) and tweets, "F... u, Kayne. It's like you stepped on a kitten."

Flash-forward to last night, and Perry says, "Now, this is the time when you want to interrupt me, Kayne. Oh my goodness, it's nothing like your first Moonman, right?"

Kayne cowered in the corner, gave a sly smile and thanked God, Katy Perry and Chris Brown.

Own it, Mrs. Russell Brand America's Dairyland.

Best Moment So Awkward, It Makes Britney Seem Normal

Lady GaGa dressed as a dude with a major under bite.

When you make Britney, Queen of Scandalous Things at the VMA's (snakes around head, making out with Madonna, failed attempt at her comeback) THEN you know you should tone down the creepiness. So GaGa, nice try trying to hit on Britney. She's not having it. As Chris Crocker would say, "Leave Britney alone!" (for only this one time).

Best GaGa Wannabee

Nicki Minaj.

When you look like this >>> it's a sign that you are trying way too hard, Nicki. Keep the face mask on, lose everything else.

"Oh crap, I lost my stuffed animal. Have you seen it?"
"Yeah, Nicki Minaj is wearing it."

Best Biggest Hyped Performance That Lacked

Lil Wayne.

It started off great, until his second song when he bounced around the ground like a bunny, took off his shirt to reveal his droopy pants that needed to be hiked up (hey bud, you're not in jail anymore), and then gave us all the impression he was going to show off his awesome guitar skills. But instead, because this is the 2011 VMA's (where we recognized the problems with today's music), he tossed the guitar over his shoulder, air guitared it, then smashed it into shambles to symbolize the downfall of today's music.

So did you miss the 2011 VMA's? Well, there's everything you need to know about. Crossing fingers that the American Music Awards are better.