A Night with Ke$ha

Glitter-covered eyes, stockings ripped all up the side, teased hair, smurf lipstick, and the stench of a couple bottles of Jack. If you ever find yourself lost in a crowd like this, you know you're only at one place: a Ke$ha concert.

Ke$ha hosted a sold out party at Central Michigan University on Feb. 25 as part of her first headlining tour "Get Sleazy." Kids off all ages packed into the McGuirk Arena, hoping to dance the night away with 2010 biggest selling artist. Yes, kids of all ages. Mostly drunken college students, but even an 8-year-old girl somehow snagged front row lower bowl tickets.

But from a college kid's perspective and old enough fans, Ke$ha delivered better than people would expect.

"I came here to party," she told the crowd. "Are you guys ready to party?"

She didn't let the audience down. Energetic, some drunk, some not, pushed their way closer to the stage the very second the arena lights dimmed to black. Ke$ha  played with synthesizers, electric guitars (who knew she could do that?), and even busted out a theremin, an instrument where you place your hands next to a beam and control the frequency and volume (listen to "Good Vibrations" by the Beach Boys).

Society has underestimated her. America has only seen her struggle through her performances on TV, but much surprise to those Ke$ha haters, her vocals were spot on, never sounded out of tune and were enjoyable. She shot glitter into the audience with her glitter cannons, she even brought a guy up on stage, saran wrapped him to a chair for her song "Grow a Pear" were a dancing pear came out to join the party.

One of the highlights of the night was when Ms. Jack Daniels slowed it down and showed the crowd a little bit of her sensitive side when she performed her newest and rarest slow song, "The Harold Song."

Although the show was a success and Ke$ha proved anyone who has doubted her that they were wrong, the parents who brought their 8-year-old daughter to the show needed to go. At what point do parents get that Ke$ha is not Taylor Swift, or Miley Cyrus pre salvia smoking days? Have they heard the opening line to "Tik Tok?" Have they heard the sexual innuendos in "Blah Blah Blah?" Maybe they understood after the dance party that Ke$ha is not what an 8-year-old should be listening to, let alone, allowing her go to a concert where F bombs dropped all over the place from her horrible, hillbilly opener Beardo, singing songs about how he snorted cocaine at age 11 and saying "F--- school" in one of his songs. Maybe it was when Ke$ha came out talking about past sexual experiences (except for she used a more vulgar term to refer to the act) or the dancing penis on stage during "Grow a Pear."  The 8-year-old girl probably had a reality check when her idol smashed an Elmo pinata with a bat. You're not on Sesame Street anymore, 8-Year-Old Girl. Welcome to a Ke$ha party.

So parents, don't expect Ke$ha to catered to your bad parenting. She will continued to sing about drinking, dancing and partying. Your 8-year-old is  not cordially invited unless if you want her to learn some interesting vocabulary terms.

As for her "Get Sleazy Tour" it's definitely worth your money and will be one of the most entertaining concerts you will go to.

Let's talk...the Grammy's

For musicians and music lovers, the Grammys is the Super Bowl, except for Christina Aguilera remembered the words this time. Good job girl! You're working your way back up in your career and that stage that you fell off.

Now, if I got the chance to give out awards for the Grammy Awards, the awards would go as follows:

Best Performance
Katy Perry

In the past, Katy Perry seemed to concentrate more on how her performance looked rather than how her voice sounded. 2010 Teen Choice Awards when she sang "Teenage Dream" she was pitchy during the whole performance and the 2010 MTV Movie Awards where she was too busy surfing on a surf board to sing her own hit song. The back tracks did her job for her during the chorus. But Perry actually sang this time, no back tracks, no pretentious sets or costumes. The audience got 100 percent of Perry. She started singing her ballad "Not Like the Movies" on a swing and lifted up as video clips from her wedding played on her enormously long dress. Best performance moment of the night and her best performance I've seen. And she sounded pretty amazing too.

Worse Performance
Bob Dylan.

I don't care if he's a legend. His voice sounded like he has been chain smoking for 50 years and thank god that microphone didn't amplify his voice anymore. The only good thing about his performance was Mumford & Sons and the Avett Brothers behind him playing, and the little contribution Dylan made with his two note riff on the harmonica. Your voice has seen better days Dylan. Time to retire.


Biggest WTF Moment?
I would give it to Lady GaGa hatching from that egg, but then Cee Lo Green and the Muppets took the stage.
1. Cee Lo Green, get out of that NBC peacock costume. You're on CBS.
2. Forget the words? It looked like it.
3. Big Bird called. He wants his neighbors back. Sesame Street is a little lonely.

Funniest Inappropriate Joke
Seth Rogen.

As Rogen was introducing Eminem, Rihanna, and Dr. Dre, the comedian said, "It's my first time at the Grammys. I'm having a spectacular time so far. I've seen things I've never seen before, I'm hearing things I've never seen before. And I wasn't even watching the show. I was backstage getting high with Miley Cyrus."

40 percent of the joke was funny. Any Miley joke is great. That's what you get when you made how many mistakes Miley? But 60 percent was because he really crossed that line. Seth, it would have been successful if you were 1. not at the Grammys. It would have worked on a talk show or SNL. And 2. If Miley wasn't in the audience. Just a little too soon to be joking about it in front of her. But nice attempt. You had Usher and Beiber laughing.

Performance Most Likely to Give You an Epileptic Seizure
Arcade Fire.

Congrats to Acarde Fire for beating out Eminem and Lady GaGa for Album of the Year. It's great that an alternative band was recognize, instead of the most popular singers, even though Eminem, GaGa, and the rest of the nominees deserved to be recognized for their albums.

But Arcade Fire, calm down on the strobes. I couldn't even see you guys from those lights. I wasn't even there and I was getting a headache from your performance. You know people can get sick from those? Let's be cautious next time.

Biggest Upset

Hi, Esperanza Spalding. My name is Morgan. And you are...?

Justin Beiber, Drake, Florence or Mumford & Sons. Beiber was the favorite to win since 2010 was an amazing year from him. But some jazz artist took home the Grammy. Are you still wondering who she is? Well, let's Wikipedia that information:

She's a 26-year-old multi-instrumental jazz bassist and singer.
He first album "Junjo" came out in April 2006.
First jazz artist to receive the Best New Artist Award.
Is the new victim of death threats made by the Bleileber cult fan group

Most Valuable Nominee
Lady Antebellum.

The country trio won a total of five awards, including Song and Record of the Year. They represented country music at an award show that usually recognizes popular music, including rap, rock and pop. The country awards usually are not televised, so go Lady Antebellum for sweeping those awards and representing country music.

Worst Dressed
I'm usually not in to the fashion at all. But Nicki Minaj obviously didn't understand "101 Dalmatians" if she dressed up as Cruella DeVille. Does she know that the dog killer is ranked 39 on AFI's list of 100 villians"? Guess not. As a person who has a dalmatian, I am not impressed. I give up on trying to understand her. She's a walking question mark.

Artist Who Looked Like the Biggest Creeper
John Mayer.

The newest inventions came out. They're called a razor and a hair clipper. Go invest 10 bucks in them.


That's sums of the 2011 Grammys. It's alright Beilebers. Maybe next year. In the meantime, as Chris Crocker would say, "Leave Esperanza Spalding alone!"

A Musical Guide to Surviving Valentine's Day

It's that time again. Happy National Greeting Card Scam Day  Valentine's Day! The day where Hallmark  St. Valentine gives you a day to tell your better half how much you love them, even though that should be everyday.

Some people might be in relationships. Great for you. You go spend $40+ to tell your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife you love them. To the others, it's ok. You don't need a partner. Save your money!

I have prepared a music list for the heartbroken, the revenge seekers, and those obnoxious lovebirds, where everyone and anyone can make it passed the Valentine's Day weekend. Five songs are the cure. And guess what? It's totally free!


The Heartbroken
It's ok, really. You're too good for this scam holiday. But if you're the one who's crying over someone not good enough for you, try these five songs. Hopefully they'll stitch your broken heart. So put those Sweetheart candy's down! The only thing they're good for is the additional calories to burn at the gym.

5. "The Harold Song" by Ke$ha

I know you're probably rolling your eyes. "Ke$ha? Really? This is crap!" But let me explain. Sure, she's known for her raps and her drunken lyrics. She's the anthem of a college student's weekend. But this song is one of her best songs because she actually sings it, minus auto-tune. Yay accomplishments! What makes it really ironic is that Ke$ha wrote it completely by herself, not with her songwriting posse. Give it a try, Trust me. I won't let you down. That party girl who uses Jack instead of Crest does have a sensitive side.

"They say that true love hurts, well this could almost kill me. Young love murder, that is what this must be. I would give it all to not be sleeping alone."

4.  "What Becomes of the Brokenhearted" by Jimmy Ruffin.

Yes, I'm going all 1966 on you. But this classic is the anthem to the brokenhearted. It must be. It says so in the title.

"Love's happiness is just an illusion filled with sadness and confusion"

3. "In Another Life" by The Veronicas

If you really want a sad song, listen to the Australian sister duo, especially if you were the one who ended things and regret it. They'll serenade you and feel you're pain.

"You know I love you, I really do but I can't fight anymore for you. And I don't know, maybe we'll be together again sometime, in another life."

2. "With or Without You" by U2

Beautiful. You should know it already and you should know why it's amazing. Poor Bono.

"Sleight of hand and twist of fate. On a bed of nails she makes me wait. And I wait without you."

1. "Konstantine" by Something Corporate


Best 9 minutes and 36 seconds of your life. It was written by the unknown musical god, Andrew McMahon. He will ease all your sorrows away. I promise.

"I can't imagine all the people that you know and the places that you go when the lights are turned down low. And I don't understand all the things you've seen but I'm slipping in between you and your big dreams. It's always you and my big dreams."

The Revenge Seekers
Are you going all Taylor Swift this Valentine's Day? Great! Let me help you plan out your revenge. Remember, violence is really not the answer. Music is more powerful.

5. "Hate (I Really Don't Like You)" by Plain White T's

They might not be the best band around, but this song is pretty catchy and will cool down your boiling blood.

"Now that it's over I don't know what I liked about you.  Brought you around and you just brought me down. Hate is a strong word, but I really really really don't like you." 


4. "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri

You've heard this song on today's Top 40 radio, but Christina Perri is like the 24-year-old non country/pop Taylor Swift.

"You're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul. So don't come back for me. Who do you think you are?"


Ouch. That guy needs to use that ice inside his soul to cool down that burn.


3. Taylor Swift songs "Dear John," "Forever and Always," "Picture to Burn," "Should've Said No," "You're Not Sorry."

You really think we can make a relationship list and not have T-Swizzle on it? Please.

2. "The Boys You Do (Get Back at You)" by The Summer Set

Upbeat, filled with anger and revenge. Great dance song.

"I bet you thought I'd throw the fight  oh you just don't know how low I can go like [oh, oh, oh] you're making me sick, girl."

1. "According to You" by Orianthi

Those Down Under chicks know how to write songs. Yes, you've heard this on the radio, but talk about Girl Power! Orianthi kicks those boys where it counts with her lyrics and mad guitar skills. You know she was supposed to be Michael Jackson's guitarist on his "This Is It" tour?

"But according to me, you're stupid, you're useless, you can't do anything right."

The Lovebirds
I guess you deserve a playlist too. But the PDA has to go. It's the reason why a lot of people despise you on Valentine's Day.

5. "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" by American Idol judge Aerosmith

Classic.

"Lying close to you feeling your heart beating. And I'm wondering what you're dreaming, wondering if it's me you're seeing. Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together. And I just wanna stay with you in this moment forever, forever and ever."

4.  "So in Love" by The Icarus Account

They are an unknown band of two, but sing one of the best love songs today. And guess what? It's not overplayed by the radio.

"Your hand it fits perfect in mine. The world has stopped and so has time."

3. "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds

If you haven't heard of Ben Folds yet, stop hiding under that rock and listen to him! This song is perfect for those in a long relationship.

"And where was I before the day that I first saw your lovely face? Now I see it everyday. And I know that I am the luckiest."

2. "Annie's Song" by John Denver


Don't roll your eyes. If you want a love song, you need to listen to a little bit of John Denver. Beautiful melody, beautiful lyrics. May he RIP.


"You fill up my senses like a night in the forest, like the mountains in springtime, like a walk in the rain, like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean. You fill up my senses, come fill me again."

1. "Konstantine" by Something Corporate


Yes, I know I've told the heartbroken to listen but this song is just so good, you can consider it as a love song or a breakup song. I love this song so much, I even work out to it on the elliptical. Don't judge.


"I always catch the clock it's 11:11 and now you want to talk. It's not hard to dream you'll always be my Konstantine."

And there is your musical guide to surviving Valentine's Day 2011. Hopefully these five songs will help make that awful day a good one. Remember heartbroken ones or revenge seekers, you don't need a guy/girl in your life to make it great. As Bruno Mars would say (as he's singing on the radio right now), "You're amazing just the way you are." If they can't see that, then Cee Lo Green them! Forget you!

And stay away from that candy.

Jason DeRulo and special guest Auto-tune pack in Grand Valley Fieldhouse

Jason DeRulo attracted 5,550 students into the field house on October 6 and was the first performer to sell out a Spotlight Production at Grand Valley State. But then 9:30 came around with no DeRulo on stage when he was scheduled to come out an hour before. The crowd grew anxious and claps, crowd surfing and a couple boos kicked off the concert.

         With the crowd already standoffish, DeRulo opened up with his first hit single “Whatcha Say" and showed the agitated crowd  he could actually sing. That shouldn’t be such a surprise since former “American Idol” judge Kara DioGuardi signed him to Warner Bros. Records. DeRulo opened the first leg of Lady GaGa’s Monster Ball Tour, so he already had a high bar set for him. Before he could even sing one note, that bar seemed as far away as the moon. But once he showed off his voice and Michael Jackson dance moves, he quickly  won the audience back.

Four songs in and DeRulo sang acoustic versions of his most popular songs “In My Head” and “Ridin’ Solo,” which drew the most applause that night. Throughout the concert, he impersonated Michael Jackson by Moon Walking and even covering “Billy Jean.” By midway through the concert, most people had forgotten they waited an extra hour for the singer.

Right when the audience finally became his friend, DeRulo brought out the item that defaces today’s world of pop music. The dreadful auto-tune microphone that probably has Michael Jackson rolling in his grave.

The concert was a prime case that proves a good voice isn’t the only thing that is key for a successful show, but also the performance needs to be just as great. Auto-tune in music is like cigarettes in society. No matter what context you use it in—in live performances or on an album—it’s not cool, doesn’t sound good and is a failure no matter who uses it. Legends can’t even pull it off.

But the auto-tune microphone wasn’t even the biggest problem.

The best part of a concert is that connection the audience gets with the performer. Some musicians talk in between each song and communicate with the audience. Some even go through the crowd, sign autographs and take pictures with them. The only communication DeRulo made was when he pulled a fan on stage to sing to her. And forget talking in between songs. He used the time to change his outfit after every song on the setlist —more outfit changes than Lady GaGa on her Monster Ball Tour. That’s really saying something if a guy needs more changes than Lady Meat Dress herself.

What was very unprofessional during one of those outfit changes was when his backup singer introduced DeRulo’s band. In almost every concert, the singer takes the time to introduce his band to his audience. Not DeRulo. His ninth white T-shirt change was far more important than introducing his band.

To end the show, DeRulo sang his biggest songs, “In My Head” and “Ridin’ Solo.” Yes, he sang the two songs twice. Just in case you didn’t like the acoustic versions of the hit songs where he actually used his authentic voice, he turned to his best friend, the auto-tune microphone, because that is the perfect way to end any sold-out performance—technology that makes you sound like a robot.

Jason DeRulo has only been on the map for a year, but the 21-year-old has a lot to learn. If he wants to go further in the industry, he needs to ditch the auto-tune microphone and take advantage of his voice and dancing skills, something that is rare in today’s pop music.