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Now, if I got the chance to give out awards for the Grammy Awards, the awards would go as follows:
Best Performance
Katy Perry
In the past, Katy Perry seemed to concentrate more on how her performance looked rather than how her voice sounded. 2010 Teen Choice Awards when she sang "Teenage Dream" she was pitchy during the whole performance and the 2010 MTV Movie Awards where she was too busy surfing on a surf board to sing her own hit song. The back tracks did her job for her during the chorus. But Perry actually sang this time, no back tracks, no pretentious sets or costumes. The audience got 100 percent of Perry. She started singing her ballad "Not Like the Movies" on a swing and lifted up as video clips from her wedding played on her enormously long dress. Best performance moment of the night and her best performance I've seen. And she sounded pretty amazing too.
Worse Performance
Bob Dylan.
I don't care if he's a legend. His voice sounded like he has been chain smoking for 50 years and thank god that microphone didn't amplify his voice anymore. The only good thing about his performance was Mumford & Sons and the Avett Brothers behind him playing, and the little contribution Dylan made with his two note riff on the harmonica. Your voice has seen better days Dylan. Time to retire.
Biggest WTF Moment?
I would give it to Lady GaGa hatching from that egg, but then Cee Lo Green and the Muppets took the stage.
1. Cee Lo Green, get out of that NBC peacock costume. You're on CBS.
2. Forget the words? It looked like it.
3. Big Bird called. He wants his neighbors back. Sesame Street is a little lonely.
Funniest Inappropriate Joke
Seth Rogen.
As Rogen was introducing Eminem, Rihanna, and Dr. Dre, the comedian said, "It's my first time at the Grammys. I'm having a spectacular time so far. I've seen things I've never seen before, I'm hearing things I've never seen before. And I wasn't even watching the show. I was backstage getting high with Miley Cyrus."
40 percent of the joke was funny. Any Miley joke is great. That's what you get when you made how many mistakes Miley? But 60 percent was because he really crossed that line. Seth, it would have been successful if you were 1. not at the Grammys. It would have worked on a talk show or SNL. And 2. If Miley wasn't in the audience. Just a little too soon to be joking about it in front of her. But nice attempt. You had Usher and Beiber laughing.
Performance Most Likely to Give You an Epileptic Seizure
Arcade Fire.
Congrats to Acarde Fire for beating out Eminem and Lady GaGa for Album of the Year. It's great that an alternative band was recognize, instead of the most popular singers, even though Eminem, GaGa, and the rest of the nominees deserved to be recognized for their albums.
But Arcade Fire, calm down on the strobes. I couldn't even see you guys from those lights. I wasn't even there and I was getting a headache from your performance. You know people can get sick from those? Let's be cautious next time.
Biggest Upset
Hi, Esperanza Spalding. My name is Morgan. And you are...?
Justin Beiber, Drake, Florence or Mumford & Sons. Beiber was the favorite to win since 2010 was an amazing year from him. But some jazz artist took home the Grammy. Are you still wondering who she is? Well, let's Wikipedia that information:
She's a 26-year-old multi-instrumental jazz bassist and singer.
He first album "Junjo" came out in April 2006.
First jazz artist to receive the Best New Artist Award.
Is the new victim of death threats made by the Bleileber
Most Valuable Nominee
Lady Antebellum.
The country trio won a total of five awards, including Song and Record of the Year. They represented country music at an award show that usually recognizes popular music, including rap, rock and pop. The country awards usually are not televised, so go Lady Antebellum for sweeping those awards and representing country music.
Worst Dressed
I'm usually not in to the fashion at all. But Nicki Minaj obviously didn't understand "101 Dalmatians" if she dressed up as Cruella DeVille. Does she know that the dog killer is ranked 39 on AFI's list of 100 villians"? Guess not. As a person who has a dalmatian, I am not impressed. I give up on trying to understand her. She's a walking question mark.
Artist Who Looked Like the Biggest Creeper
John Mayer.
The newest inventions came out. They're called a razor and a hair clipper. Go invest 10 bucks in them.
That's sums of the 2011 Grammys. It's alright Beilebers. Maybe next year. In the meantime, as Chris Crocker would say, "Leave Esperanza Spalding alone!"
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